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D. I. COLUMNIST The Real Deal with Tommy D ' Aprile
As most of you know, I am not a supporter of using fourletter words, although in my past I have certainly used them as a regular part of my daily speech. Having a newfound, cleaner vocabulary these days is certainly something I have had to work on, but there is one four-letter word that just seems to keep coming up. What word, you ask? Well, it’ s the all-too-common“ F” word – FEAR!!!
This little four-letter word can kill, destroy and absolutely ruin a person’ s life if not dealt with in the proper ways. Fear has been linked to anxiety, which is also linked to high blood pressure and multiple health issues. Fear has a way of entering a person’ s life very early on. As a child, I was always taught to fear almost anything and everything. Of course my parents were only trying to protect me, but having me live life filled with fear was not good for my development. This subsequently leads well into adulthood for many people.
I have heard it said that,“ Concern leads to action, while fear leads to immobilization.” Let me explain. Washing your hands before meals is a great way to prevent germs from spreading; that is concern and is a good action to take. On the other hand, fear says you need to pour hand sanitizer over your cheeseburger and wear gloves before you eat. I have witnessed this firsthand while at a restaurant. The mother of a 12-year-old boy kept asking him if he washed his hands, and not to touch anything. Over and over again she said these statements. The boy looked terrified, and when his food came he did not eat.
You may laugh, but fear is a widespread epidemic in this world and it’ s everywhere. Just watch the news and you will be fearful of something new every day. Swine flu, mosquito virus, mad cow disease – the list goes on and on. Our media feeds off the bad news, which in turn enters your home and lives daily. People seem to enjoy bringing bad news to others like it’ s a gift of some sort. Fear, anxiety and worry can and will kill you and the people around you if you let it.
I sometimes struggle myself with fear, and I do not like the way it makes me feel. But I have learned a secret that I will share: Not one of you can add a single hour to your life by worrying. You can most definitely shorten your life by worrying, though. I have a very special friend who always says,“ Why should I waste my time worrying when I can do something productive?” What he always tells me is that everything works its way out one way or another, and he is right every time. The truth is that we allow our minds to go to the worst-case scenario and in most cases it never comes true. We spend most of our days thinking the worst and it puts our minds in complete turmoil.
So how do we not worry, and how do we get out of the bondage it creates? A very wise counselor once told me the secret. He told me to“ stop It”! He went for years of school and training to tell me, plain and simple, that what I was focused on is what I became. Change your focus, people. Start thinking about all the good instead of all the negative, and reprogram your mind to actively stay away from drama and worrisome people. I have had to learn this myself. Some days when I feel like I am slipping back into worry, I say“ NO” and choose to enjoy whatever days the good Lord is willing to give me. Choose faith instead of fear. To put it short and sweet, you can live a victorious life over fear, but the choice is yours to make.
January 2017
Tommy D’ Aprile tommyd @ dragillustrated. com
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