Drag Illustrated Issue 150, November 2019 | Page 49
D.I. COLUMNIST
The Real Deal
with Tommy D'Aprile
A
s many of you know,
I base many of my col-
umns on personal sto-
ries and things that I
have gone through in my own life.
This column will be no different
and maybe, just maybe, it will re-
late to some, if not all of you.
How many of you wish you
could take back something you’ve
said before? I dare say all of you
would say yes to that question at
one point or another. I know for
me there have been many times I
should have thought and kept my
mouth shut before I spoke. Have
you ever heard this phrase: “All of
us should be quick to listen, slow
to speak and slow to anger”? Even
better, how many of us wish we would have followed those instruc-
tions a time or two? Not only do we not think before we speak, but
sometimes we think we know it all and are always right. Sound fa-
miliar? Something to think about for future experiences, for sure.
So here is a story about me and my big mouth. Last week at work,
things were getting a little hectic and busy. My service manager was
on the phone and looked like to me as though he needed help. So I
preceded to open my mouth and tell him things that I thought would
help, or in other words, things he needed to do. Not listening to the
conversation completely, I continued to blab about what I thought
he needed. Turns out I was completely off base and wrong, but my
mouth thought otherwise. He then proceeded to get mad and I used
my big mouth to shoot back at him, because it’s all about me, right?
Long story short, it made for a very uncomfortable situation.
Now, I tell you this story to show what happened next. Instead
of staying prideful, I returned to my co-worker and apologized. We
then squashed the issue and continued on with our day. The ques-
tion I have is, how many of you have said something with your big
mouth and instead of apologizing, you just let your pride keep hold
of the last word? All of us will have trouble from time to time with
our words, but the fact remains that we don’t have to let those words
linger. We need to realize that we have used our big mouths to cre-
ate a problem and we can use the same mouth to apologize and use
words to help heal.
Remember this: the tongue is the hardest muscle to tame. It’s
quick and deadly. Sometimes I say something and don’t even real-
ize I said it – that’s how quick this happens. Remember the saying
“bite your tongue”? Well, it works, but you have to literally bite your
tongue. There were times I had bruises on my tongue, but I’m telling
you that it was worth it. The bruise on my tongue saved emotional
bruises that would have been far worse.
If you really want to get down to it, it’s all about discipline and
having the restraint to think before you speak. Most of the words
you use in the heat of the moment will not be the words you use after
taking time to calm down and think. When you feel the urge to just
spill your words and your emotions are high, that would be the time
to take a step back and think before you speak. This choice will save
you a lot of aggravation and pain.
All of us wish we could go back and change what we said, but you
can’t. Here is the good part, though – you can change the way you
react in the future. Start making better choices with your words and
just see how rewarding it can be. As for me and my big mouth, we
will do the same. As always, the choice is yours to make.
Email Tommy at
tommyd@dragillustrated.com
November 2019
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