D . I . COLUMNIST The Real Deal with Tommy D ' Aprile
As many of you know , I started racing at an early age . Fortunate enough to have my parents support me , I was able to race almost weekly . The frustrations of racing when you are a kid can be overwhelming at times , and when you are young and immature you make mistakes in attitudes , actions and behaviors . Now , many of our young Jr . Dragster drivers out there do seem to have a much better attitude than what I had as a kid . That is a great thing , but my focus here is not on kids , but adults in our sport that are acting like children . Spoiled children . Let me explain .
At a recent race , I witnessed something a little unsettling : an adult acting like a spoiled child . Now many of you may be saying that you have married one , but all kidding aside , I witnessed an adult kick and scream because their race car would not start . A full temper tantrum right there in the staging lanes . And worse yet , the adult ’ s parent condoned it . Hmm , I wonder if allowing bad behavior as a child makes that now-adult feel it ’ s still OK to act that way . You think ?
Parents , I have a huge Real Deal callout for you . Are you enabling your children in a way that will harm them as adults ? I am not saying that you would intentionally harm your child , but what I am saying is that allowing bad behavior is certainly not going to help them with any positives in adulthood .
It ’ s OK to be disappointed to lose or have an issue with the car . A word here or there slips out and the frustration leads to a walk-it-off moment . That ’ s all OK , but when it just snowballs and the mouth never stops with complaints and nagging , you have to decide to make a change .
Allowing a child or young adult to have little to no consequences for their actions is doing nothing but hurting them . If one of my children acted in such a manner , they would lose privileges for a time . If you acted terribly at your job you would probably lose it , along with friendships and relationships .
Maybe you need to stop making everything about you and get over yourself . Many parents are so concerned with their children being their buddies , they lose how to parent . Discipline saves a child from harm , while many think it hurts them . Let me tell you , as a kid I got a lot of discipline and I am grateful for it . It has helped make me a better person .
In the case where the parent will not discipline in fear of losing their buddy , it hinders in the healthy development of your child . The all-about-me child will grow up into the all-about-me adult and the cycle continues . Listen , people , I ’ m not saying you can ’ t be friends with your children and have fun , but I am saying what you as a parent allow is what the children see as acceptable .
Every parent wants their child to hang out with the “ right crowd ” but can you say you do the same ? Please don ’ t ask your children to have a better attitude if yours stinks . Don ’ t ask them not to drink if your fridge is full of alcohol . Don ’ t ask them to stop swearing when you make a sailor look like a saint . Don ’ t ask your children to change until you make sure you are setting the correct example to follow . Remember this , attitude reflects leadership .
So , what kind of leader are you to your family ? Make allowances for each other ’ s faults and forgive those faults , but never say it ’ s OK to continue to act like that . The decisions in attitude , actions and behavior you make today will shape you and your family ’ s future . Take responsibility for acting like a spoiled kid not getting the candy and make a change . As always , the choice is yours to make . DI
Email Tommy at tommyd @ dragillustrated . com
April 2021
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