Drag Illustrated Issue 173, December 2021 | Page 63

D . I . COLUMNIST The Real Deal with Tommy D ' Aprile

By the time all of you are reading this it will be 2022 . For some of us , time may seem to go very slow but for others , including myself , time is just flying by . Days are filled with work , and time to do anything else seems hard to find . Kids have school events and sports , and then we try to find the time to go and race . And not one car , but four we have to get ready to hit the track .

Now for many of you this might not hit home , but for some of you that are like me , this might just be a little good advice . What ’ s the advice , you ask ? The words of wisdom I have for you are as follows .
1 . Start making time for you . But , you say , all of these people are counting on me , etc . How good are you going to be for anyone else when you yourself are worn out ? I know how hard it can be to set time aside for yourself . You think the world can ’ t go on without you or your advice , but guess what ? It will . Set a time on your calendar to take some time off or get away and stick to it .
2 . Learn to say no . This can be a hard word for someone who is a people pleaser like myself . When we say yes to everyone and everything , we leave very little time – if any – for ourselves . When you can ’ t relax or be content because you haven ’ t met everyone else ’ s needs , there is a problem , and that problem is you and your decision to please everyone . Yes , some people will be upset at the answer no , but remember that ’ s OK . It ’ s not your problem if they can ’ t understand . When they get upset instead of understanding , it shows you how selfish they are , and you may start wondering if they were ever a true friend or just a user .
3 . Do something you enjoy . Time after time , I hear people say how guilty they would feel if they did something that pleased them . Why ? Now , if it ’ s something illegal or immoral , then that ’ s a different story , but most people find it hard to do something they enjoy . That condemning voice in your head needs to leave . Life is to be enjoyed and enjoyed daily . Wake up and be grateful daily for the blessings you already have and enjoy the day .
4 . Work to live , not live to work . When we have a balanced work schedule , it leaves us time for other things in life to enjoy . Not to say you shouldn ’ t enjoy your work because you should , but we need to have balance . I have known people who wanted to make a lot of money so they worked basically every day and 12-15 hours a day . They had more money , but had very little peace . Some were even having major health issues related to stress . So now you have all of this money but nothing else . And if you think money can buy you happiness , peace and health , then you must be living in fantasyland . I have visited that place before and it ’ s full of lies .
Some of these changes may be hard for you at first , but let me tell you from experience that it ’ s all worth it . I am practicing this myself and have noticed the difference immediately .
People , please understand that for some of you , not making these changes can actually kill you . I know you love your family and if anyone tried to hurt someone you love you would protect them . Here is the truth : without certain changes , you could hurt your loved ones very badly .
Take a moment and reflect on where you can make changes and start right away . The benefits and blessings are waiting , but as always , the choice is yours to make . DI
December 2021

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