D . I . COLUMNIST The Real Deal with Tommy D ' Aprile
How many of you have ever been falsely accused of something ? And how did that make you feel ? I am sure most of you would feel hurt to be accused of something you didn ’ t do . Now here is the real deal question : how did you react ? I have heard this said before : The reaction to a situation can tell you the maturity level of a person . I for one can tell you the way I used to react is far different from how I react now .
Here is a little story I will share with you . An acquaintance of mine has a similar business to my business and is located fairly close to us . We help each other out when needed and do well working together in the same industry . One day a person came to us by mistake and we told them the company they were looking for was right down the road .
One of our clients had asked jokingly , “ Why would you go somewhere else ?” and told them we were the best at what we did . Although I appreciated the kind words , this was not our customer and we sent the person to the correct business they were looking for .
Turns out the person then tells the other business that we were trying to persuade them to stay at our business . Right after that , the owner of the other business threw darts , posting false accusations and mean-spirited words . It was like we didn ’ t even know these people , when we had been friends for years .
My initial thought was going back into dentistry and removing some of his teeth . All joking aside , I was hurt . I truly like this person and knew he had been misinformed . I tried to talk with him , but he just blew me off . After all the years of a good relationship , he allowed a false piece of information – a flat-out lie – to turn him against us . I never responded in any way , although I have a legal team that could have . I thought to myself , “ What is that going to accomplish ?” Our reputation speaks for itself and we certainly do not have to worry about that .
Did you know that you can respond powerfully without responding ? You see , most people want to get a rise out of you and bring you down to their level . They can be hateful and hurtful and would love nothing more than to drag you right through the mud with them . You may respond justly , then the other party quickly plays the victim and now you are in a no-win situation .
It takes two sides to have an argument . If you choose not to argue , then someone is just mouthing off to themselves and looks pretty foolish . Trust me , it aggravates them more when you don ’ t respond . A fire dies unless you put wood to it .
Same thing goes for people mouthing off and creating drama . When someone comes to you and says things like “ Did you hear ?” be ready for gossip . As for me , I don ’ t want to hear anything that has to do with gossip and drama . Remember this . Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see .
People can be quick to judge and accuse you , and that ’ s their problem . If you are able to walk away from an argument or not respond to a false claim , you will notice it really backfires on the accusers .
As for the guy we used to work with , I have no bad feelings for him , but I do feel bad for the emotions he allows to run his mind . I wish him the best . I am not saying what he did was OK , but I ’ m not the judge . I used to fight all my battles with my fists , but now I fight them all on my knees in prayer . Pray for those who hurt you and mistreat you because they are really the ones who are hurting . As always , the choice is yours to make . DI
January / February 2022
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